It Only Takes One Prick (Fragile)

About This Piece

I used to be a lot more sensitive. Criticism was a terrifying prospect for me. I was praised often as a child by parents, teachers, and coaches, and I got used to seeking external validation. My ego told me that my value resided in what others thought of me, and I was only worthy when I was praised.

When the inevitable criticism came, it deflated me instantly. The smallest comment and I would cry and become discouraged, or become stubborn and defensive.

Placing my worth in the hands of others kept me in a pattern of pleasing, perfecting and performing. It was exhausting to feel that my sense of self was always on the line. I was fragile.

Over the past year, I’ve made huge progress in trusting my inherent worth. I’ve been able to recognize that my failures and faults don’t disqualify me from love and worthiness. While I still have the occasional defensive reaction, I’ve been able to receive feedback more gracefully, take important lessons from what is shared, and set aside the judgments that don’t ring true, and come more from the insecurities and projections of the other person than from me.

Do you find it difficult to deal with the feedback and judgment of others? Are you relying on perfection or performance for your sense of self, or are you secure in your self-worth despite imperfections or mistakes? What would change in your life if you deeply believed in your inherent value?